About Me

I am a 23 year old Londoner, who has been battling depression, in varying degrees for a number of years now. After having somewhat of a breakdown and hitting rock bottom in May/June 2010, I have been slowly Β picking myself up and sorting out my life again, which seemed to go to pieces in 2010. I did this with the help of counselling from April 2011 for a year, to help me deal with underlying issues from my past. After my counselling finished in April 2012, I have been feeling myself slowly slipping back into my old feelings, as much as I tried not to...

61 thoughts on “About Me

    • Definitely. Even though I was very pessimistic when it started, and I didn’t fully realise the positive effect it had on me, I realised how much difference it made to my life once I stopped counselling. The thing is, though, I don’t want to have to go to counselling for the rest of my life, and I’m scared that if I start counselling again, it will help me while I go, but I will again slip back into deeper depression if I ever stop it

      • Don’t get caught up in all the things that ‘might’ go wrong in the future. Counselling is a nondestructive way to feel better. It helps. So why not try and focus on getting/feeling better in the present instead of fretting over whether or not it’s something you’ll always need?
        We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it πŸ™‚

      • Yeah you’re probably right. There is a high chance I think I will return to counselling at some point, just not sure if I am completely ready for it just yet though. Considering giving other things a go first to be honest, but thank you πŸ™‚ Have you been counselling yourself?

      • I’ve been going for a few weeks now. And I already feel better about a lot of things.
        Although, honestly, it feels kind of addictive. The thought of not having those weekly sessions really freaks me out…

      • I’m glad its helping already πŸ™‚ To be honest, when I finished, I felt ready to move on and felt like I had got everything I currently could out of counselling. Its only a little while after I realised how much I also depended on that weekly session. Like you said, concentrate on the present and getting better, and you can cross the bridge of how to deal without counselling when it comes πŸ™‚

      • ……and here I thought I was the one going to be doling out encouragement!
        Seriously though, thank you.

  1. Hi,
    Thanks for vising my blog and following it. I was depressed when I was 23 as well; now I am 28 and still continuing the battle with depression. I had symptoms of depression in varrying degrees from childhood days onwards. I sought clinical help only when I was 19. Now I am having a veiew that I need to pay a lot more attention on the causes of my depression aprt from treating the symptoms. I tend to think that the stress and anxiety that I experience are the major contributing factor of my depression. Keep fighting. All the best for you. Looking forward for your posts.
    Warm regards from India,
    Niranjan

  2. Hey,

    I really relate to the theme of your posts.

    If what you have tried previously hasn’t worked for you, have you checked out Depressed Anonymous or any kind of spirituality-centred approach?

    I hope you have a great day. :- )

  3. Do you have a “Contact Me” form anywhere on your blog? Just curious, wanted to ask you something not “in public.” Does that sound creepy? Anyway, enjoying your posts, thanks πŸ™‚

  4. Hi there. Thank you for visiting my blog and for following; Glad you did, that’s how I found yours. I have someone that I’m very close to that suffers from depression and I have witnessed the struggles that come with it. It is very difficult and everyday can be a challenge. I applaud your courage for sharing your thoughts and feelings and look forward to following your blog.
    Peace to you πŸ™‚

  5. Have you considered/tried medication? I was really hesitant to do so at first but it has made a big difference, and in studies a combination of BOTH medicine and counseling has been the most helpful and lasting treatment for depression.

  6. Have you ever read “A New Earth” by Eckhard Tolle? I found it so helpful, really changed my life around. He points the way to “the end of suffering.” Keep looking up!

  7. Find that inner strength within because I have no doubt it exists in you. The step you’ve taken to share your thoughts and be proactive in your life proves that.

    My best to you.

  8. Hey,
    your blog is awesome. Thanks for showing your minds on it.
    Best wishes from a german depressed person πŸ˜€

  9. Dear,,

    Hi.. please introduce myself,,I am Asian,24 years old. I am unemployed. I have been fired from the job I was in twice. I can hardly find any other job bcs of my bad working experience on my cv.
    Since then, I realized that I am a slow learner. I was fired bcs I did mistakes for so many times and didn’t understand the instructions properly.

    Well, I have big problem with learning new thing. I used to be a very hardworker but still there always be some flaws on my work. My supervisor always mad at me like, “I’ve said it so many times!”. They did right thing. I didnt blame my previous supervisors who fired me. All I am blaming is my ability of learning and understanding.

    Because of this,I know my weakness well. This leads me to have a terrible feeling when it comes to talk to someone, I’m always getting nervous and panic when I have to explain something. That’s one of the reason why I got fired. I have bad communication skill. Why, because I am afraid if I’m doing wrong.

    Ever since the last day of my working, I haven’t applied for any job yet. I have traumatic feeling about getting fired. My mom always scold me and asking why I’m not looking for another Job. In fact, I never told this to anyone before include, (especially) my parents. I told them that my contract was terminated because I had to handle another job outside my Job desc. I didn’t tell them the honest reason.

    I can’t even share this to my bestfriends bcs they are the people I am envy with. They are the people I wish I could be. They are now having good position in their company with good salary. I feel so much intimidated when we go out for cinema or just hanging out,, they’re all proudly spending their self-earn money and sharing their working experience. Meanwhile, I am still using my parent’s money,, and the leftover money from my last salary.Things are getting harder for me when they ask what my daily activities are. In fact Im just doing nothing at home.

    I keep telling lies to everyone. I am really afraid to tell the truth and to be judged. Having myself as a slow learner has already become the most hurtful thing I have to face.

    Now I am fighting so much againts my own anxiety and low self esteem. I am so afraid what if I never get a proper job.
    I am really expecting for you to do me a favor about what to do? What am I supposed to do ?
    I am so much thankful for your help..

    Best Regards
    @noodlesoup6

    • You need to get some help – whether it’s professional help or friends or family. That’s the first step I would say. They can help you with your feelings. You need to stay positive and remember that you can beat this!

  10. Congratulations on your post, I must admit I have popped in and read a good number of your postings I just want to tell you how good you are at describing the stuff your at – I must admit I find it insightful to read your blogging. Keep up the good work. Hendrik Duvenhage http://www.hendrikduvenhageblog.wordpress.com

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