199

The hatred I feel for myself right now is insane. 199 days I got to without self harming…before I let some stressful times and upset get to me and give in to self harm 😦 it’s been quite a while since I scratched and I’ve just realised how much worse it is than cutting…just huge swollen bumps for 1/2 days and now on the third day I’m covered in huge red sore marks….not ideal when they are on to forearm and I have to wear a short sleeve shirt for work 😐 I’ve never felt like such a disappointment and a failure as I do right now. Nothing I ever do I succeed at and nothing I ever do will make anyone proud or happy. How am I ever going to get back to 199 days or beyond? I doubt I will even get to two or three days at the rate my mind is at now. I really need to get into a positive mind frame and pick myself up and get back on a clean run….I just don’t know if I can

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6 thoughts on “199

  1. Don’t rely on yourself alone. I think I understand how you feel. Turn to God in prayer. Read the book of Psalms, like Psalm 51 for instance may comfort you.
    No one is perfect, it is normal to have setbacks, but your self-harming doesn’t define who you are as a whole.
    All God wants from you is for you to rely on him (Psalm 55:22).

  2. You have much to be proud of yourself – you went 199 days without scratching yourself. And you can one day double that. We all fall back on bad habits. You can pick yourself up and carry on because you have done it before. You are strong enough!

  3. It’;s really weird to click LIKE to your post…. just would like you to know that I heard you, and here’s wishing you well, and I’m sure you can get over your anxieties. Stay strong, always.

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