No one can understand

No one can understand what I feel. Maybe that’s why I always try and keep it in and not tell anyone. As much as anyone can try, and don’t get me wrong – I really appreciate those who try; it’s so hard to even begin to explain….begin to explain the extent of the confusing broken thoughts in my head. No one can understand how empty I feel. Emptiness is the worst feeling. There is no way to describe it unless you have felt it. It’s simply feeling nothing. As stupid and unreal as that may sound, that’s what it is. No one can understand the loneliness. I am surrounded by friends and family who love and care, yet the loneliness is crazy. I don’t even know why I feel it to be honest. With the support network that I have, I shouldn’t feel like this. But I still do. Especially when I’m alone. Those are the worst times. No one can understand how much I hate myself…..how much I disgust myself….how low my self esteem and how low my self worth is….how I don’t care at all about myself or my body. No one can understand the feelings that go through my head when I self harm or when I get the urge to self harm. No one can understand.

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