Person under the train

How often, especially in London, are trains suspended or delayed, due to a person under the train? And I’m guessing most people think how selfish that person is to try and do it, how that person is disrupting so many people, how that person is hurting so many people…but I don’t think anyone can ever put themselves in the mind frame of someone who does this. How hurt, alone, depressed, empty, unhappy, desperate someone must be to want to end their own life….how they probably feel that they can’t cope with another day, how they feel that their life isn’t worth anything….that no one cares.

Today, for a split second, when my train pulled up at the platform, I thought would would happen if I was to jump. I would NEVER do it, but the thought just popped into my head, and even just the fact that it popped into my head scared me a little to be honest. I was thinking how everyone would react – who would care, who wouldn’t, would my friends be better of without having to constantly worry and check up on me, how would my brother who’s away on holiday abroad deal with the news, how about my parents who I’ve kept my battle with depression from….so many what ifs….

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2 thoughts on “Person under the train

  1. It makes me sad that you’d think we’d be better without you – you probably do wonder but your friends check up on you because we care about you and couldn’t imagine a life without you because we want you here – its not just out of politeness or courtesy. I understand why you might feel that it is, but just letting you know in writing so that maybe (I hope) you can use it to remind you sometimes. Even if by writing this it doesn’t help, I hope it was worth a try ❤ x

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